"For the Lord Looketh on the Heart"

In 2012 while I was incarcerated I was in line at the property desk to pick up something I had purchased. Standing in front of me was a stalky man with a bald head, a faded blue demon face tattooed on the back, grinning at me. He looked tough. Didnt look like someone I wanted to upset. I didn't say anything, just waited in line for my turn.

A few weeks later that man, Dustyn, moved onto my tier and joined the dog program. He became one of my best good friends, and is one of the most generous, enjoyable people I knew in there.

I asked him about that tattoo, looking to see if it had symbolic meaning, like leaving your sins and demons behind you.

He said he got it when he was 17, fresh out of the Job Corps, as teenage rebellion, trying to set himself apart from the crowd, thinking he was an adult.

"I joke that he's there to watch my back," he said, "It has come to mean the demon on my back you don't wanna cross."

Another man had a mean looking scowl on his face all the time. He always seemed angry, with glaring eyes. I avoided him. I wasn't rude, but just wasn't actively seeking him out for conversation.

One day I went to visiting and he was there. While we waited, he spoke up and asked me if my mother was coming. He had seen me before, knew who I was because of the dog program, and had taken note it was usually her that came. In the resulting conversation, he laughed. The laugh never reached his scowling lips, never creased his glaring eyes. I realized that he just had one of those hard faces that has maybe seen too much bad in the world and forgotten how to smile.

When we went in to see our families, his wife had come. She had a mouth that looked like Grumpy Cat, that down-facing horseshoe of a mouth. Even when they talked, even when she smiled, even when she laughed.

Dustyn told me, "...Some of the best hearts are often behind the dirtiest, ugliest, meanest faces. Some people are just good hearted people and what more of the world needs.
"Some people have seen some of the worst of what this world has to offer, and even though it might've changed their appearances it only strengthened their heart."

If I would have let my visual impressions of these two men be the only thing I ever knew about them, I would have missed out on knowing two interesting people, one of which is still my friend today.

4 And Samuel did that which the Lord spake, and came to Beth-lehem. And the elders of the town trembled at his coming, and said, Comest thou peaceably?

5 And he said, Peaceably: I am come to sacrifice unto the Lord: sanctify yourselves, and come with me to the sacrifice. And he sanctified Jesse and his sons, and called them to the sacrifice.

6 ¶ And it came to pass, when they were come, that he looked on Eliab, and said, Surely the Lord's anointed is before him.

7 But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.

1Sam 16:4-7

Samuel was the prophet of God. He wasn't a shallow man. He wasn't a gossip or a fool. He looked at Eliab and saw the firstborn son of Jesse, strong and tall, and he made the same judgment any of us would have made. That's the one, surely.

God said "Nah, not that one."

Six more sons walked past. Six more times Samuel looked, and six more times God said no. Jesse had run out of sons to present. Samuel must have been confused. He'd done what the Lord had asked. He'd come to Bethlehem. He'd looked at every son Jesse had brought.

"Are these all thy children?"

"There remaineth yet the youngest," Jesse said. Almost as an afterthought. "And behold, he keepeth the sheep."

Nobody had called David. He wasn't in the room. He was out in a field doing his job, and it apparently hadn't occurred to anyone that the shepherd boy was worth inviting to the ceremony.

When David came in, the Lord said: "Yeah, that's him."

This wasn't the first time Israel needed a king. A few chapters earlier, in 1 Samuel 8, the people had demanded one from Samuel — against the Lord's advice, for the record. God warned them what kings did to people. They wanted one anyway. So God gave them Saul.

Saul looked exactly like a king. He was tall — head and shoulders above everyone else in Israel. From a good family. Impressive in every visible way. The people saw him and they were satisfied.

It didn't end well. Saul's problem wasn't his appearance. His problem was his heart. He was proud. He was more concerned with what the people thought of him than what God thought of him. In chapter 13, he offered a sacrifice he had no authority to give — a duty reserved for the priests — because he was impatient and afraid the army would scatter. When Samuel called him on it, Saul explained why it had made perfect sense at the time. That was the problem. His own judgment over God's commandment. And when God told him through Samuel to utterly destroy the Amalekites and take nothing, Saul spared the king and the best of the livestock. He had a reason for that too. He always had a reason. By chapter 15, the Lord had already decided to find someone else.

So when Samuel arrived at Jesse's house, God already knew what happened when you chose by the outward appearance. He had already tried the king who looked the part. He wasn't going to do it again.

This time He wanted the king of the heart.

Now I want to talk about the other side of this.

We've been talking about how we look at the Dustyns in our life. The tattoo. The hard face. The outward appearance. Most of us can accept that lesson. Don't judge a book by its cover. We've all heard it. We can nod and feel a little convicted and move on.

But here's the part that's harder.

You have also stood in front of Samuel and said, "Surely it won't be me."

I was in a Gospel Principles class while I was incarcerated. The lesson was on the Final Judgment and the three kingdoms of glory. I had been there long enough that I had quietly, privately made my peace with it. I was Telestial. I had done what I had done. The Celestial kingdom was for people who had lived better lives than mine. I wasn't bitter about it. I wasn't even particularly sad. I had just accepted it. Written it down in my head as settled fact.

The teacher was going through the Kingdoms. And then he said something that stopped me cold.

Those who repent — even those who had been excommunicated and come back to the church — are not consigned to a lower kingdom. Full repentance, full fellowship. The full glory of the Celestial kingdom, available. Not a consolation prize. The real thing.

I turned to my friend Brad, sitting next to me. "We can go to the Celestial Kingdom?"

"Yeah," he said, "The attonement is for us, too."

I hadn't even considered that possibility. I had looked at my past, my record, where I was, and I had handed down the verdict myself. Telestial. Case closed. I had done Samuel's job for him, and I had gotten it just as wrong as he did when he looked at Eliab.

I was measuring by the outward appearance.

And the Lord was looking at something else entirely.

The Lord seeth not as man seeth. Man looketh on the outward appearance. But the Lord looketh on the heart.

That cuts in both directions.

It means don't look at Dustyn's tattoo and decide you know what he is. You don't. Some of the best hearts are behind the hardest faces, and you will miss good people if you stop at the surface.

And it means don't look at your own past, your own record, your own failures — and decide you already know what God sees when He looks at you. Because you don't. You are looking at the outward appearance. You do not have access to the view He has.

David didn't audition for the throne. He wasn't in the room measuring himself against his brothers, calculating his odds, wondering if he was good enough. He was in a field doing his work. Being faithful with the sheep that had been given to him. He showed up when they called him.

And after Samuel anointed him king, he went back to the sheep. The spirit of the Lord came upon him, and he went back to the field. He didn't start acting like a king. He just kept doing the work that was in front of him, and he trusted that God would handle the rest.

That is the job. Be faithful with what is in front of you. Do the work you have been given. Let God do the choosing. Show up when called.

He has already told us what He is looking for.

It is not the height. It is not the countenance. It is not the tattoo on the back of your head, or the things you did before you knew better, or the worst chapter of your life.

It is the heart.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

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Remembering Christ in All That We Do

 "And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me.

"Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you."

These were Jesus's words at the Last Supper to His disciples as He reminded them to remember Him when they take the sacrament. His sacrifice of His body and blood to wash away our sins was given so that we could return to live with Him and our Father in Heaven. Remembering Christ is not just something to think about on Sundays but a charge to carry with us in all that we do. It serves as a constant reminder to align our choices, interactions, and aspirations with His teachings, inviting His presence into every aspect of our daily lives.

Why Remembering Christ Matters

Remembering Christ anchors us in our beliefs. It reminds us of the life He lived, the teachings He gave, and the sacrifice He made for us.

In my life, I, like everyone here, have had challenges. The main difference is in the type of challenges. My challenges may be similar in some areas and quite different from most of you in others. I have had struggles with addiction, spent time locked away in a purgatory cut off from my family and friends, ruined two marriages, and deeply disappointed my mother.

For a time, I forgot Him. I forgot what He did for me. I was the cynical, arrogant young man who said, “I can do it myself,” and those doings got me in serious hot water.

Years ago, I was in that purgatory, having just returned after making more serious mistakes. After almost seven years of rarely thinking of Him, I knew it was time to return. I read every day. I prayed every day. I focused, as much as I could, completely on Him. I did all the things I should have been doing every day for the three months leading up to my parole hearing.

That hearing did not go as I had hoped it would, and I lived in that purgatory another five and a half years. At first, I was angry. I didn’t understand. I did all the things I was supposed to do. How did this happen?

For another two months, my scriptures were left on a shelf, and I again felt like the cynical, arrogant young man who wanted to do it myself. The key difference was that I had been doing all the things I was supposed to be doing—for three months. Not for the seven years I spent on parole, not for the years and years before when I had made so many bad decisions.

Once I had gone through my cooling-off period and had time to think about what happened, I realized that I needed to live it every day, not just for three months. So I picked up my scriptures again. I read, I prayed, I went back to church, and I lived it. Even in my excommunicated state, inside that purgatory, I lived it.

He remembered us in His darkest moments, in Gethsemane, and even on the cross, saying, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."

In my darkest hours, after being stripped of all the time I had completed on parole, I, at first, made the decision to forget Him and do it myself. This was the wrong decision.

Over the next five and a half years, after I woke up from my pigheadedness, I tried my best to be the right kind of person. I wasn’t perfect at it, but I was a whole lot better than I had been in the seven and a half years before. I made good friends, avoided bad situations, went to church, read, prayed, sang, led the choir, taught classes, held callings, and learned from wonderful church leaders. I remembered Him.

Living as a Witness of Christ

When we remember Christ and keep Him in our thoughts, it influences our decisions, softens our hearts, and strengthens our resolve. We learn, or remember, His path, and we resolve to follow Him. When we remember Christ, we naturally become witnesses of Him to those around us. It is not enough to say we follow Christ. James said, "...faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone." In 3 Nephi (3 Nephi 18:24), Christ said, "Therefore, hold up your light that it may shine unto the world."

Our words and actions can be a testimony of Christ’s love and truth, reflecting the teachings and life of the Savior. As we strive to align our actions with His example, we not only strengthen our relationship with Him but also inspire those around us to seek Him. This connection is a living testament of His love that speaks louder than words alone. For example, the scriptural counsel to "let your light so shine before men" ties directly into our daily interactions, reminding us to illuminate the path for others toward Christ’s grace and truth. By living His teachings, we inspire others to come unto Him. 

In that purgatory, I tried to be an example to those around me. I kept my language clean, I was kind to others, and I led the dog training program with a goal to help better those around me, not to seek any vainglory of position and authority. I earned respect from my fellow inmates by being an honest, trustworthy person in a place filled with some of the most vile people you hopefully will never meet.

We can remember Christ and live for Him by looking for opportunities to be the hands of the Savior, lifting others and showing compassion. We can emulate Him in our daily habits of scripture study and prayer. We can meditate on our relationship with Him to keep that constant connection to Christ.

And like Peter was encouraged to be as he was walking on water, we can keep our focus on Christ amid life’s storms and be not afraid. Christ taught us to "love one another as I have loved you." Remembering Him helps us treat others with patience, forgiveness, and charity.

Seeing Others as Christ Sees Them

In that place, I had a friend named Jason. At some point, he had been in a car accident and received a traumatic brain injury that caused him to forget things, not be able to process as quickly, and honestly made him a little weird. But at the same time, he was a wonderful example of seeing others as Christ saw them.

Jason told me a story of a time he was on his mission, and he tried to see every person he visited while he was teaching the gospel as if they were wearing their baptism jumper, all in white. He would come and knock, visualize them in the waters of baptism, and make introductions. If they did not want to invite him in, he would ask them if he could sing them a song, and then would sing "I Am a Child of God." He told me that got him in several homes because of the pure truths that wonderful hymn contains.

We can remember Christ by being an example to others. By not hiding our light under a bushel, we can live a life worth emulating. While in that place, a friend named Matthew came to me and said, “You are always happy. How do I get what you have?” and I told him, “Come to church.” And he did.

It wasn’t the smoothest transition for him. Matthew had a rough upbringing, a physically abusive father, and an emotionally abusive mother. The idea that he had Heavenly Parents that loved him was a difficult one for him to grasp, and after a time, he stopped coming.

After I came home, he wrote me a beautiful testimony about how he had taken time to think things through and decided he should go back to church. He had become a teacher and leader in the branch and was making great leaps in his testimony.

Drawing Strength Through Christ

I was walking the track around the ballfield one day after work with a couple of friends, Mark and Lyle. Lyle was a barrel-chested tank of a man, with a crushing handshake and a warm smile. Mark was quite the opposite. He was quiet, reserved, short and round with thick glasses, and he was having trouble keeping up with Lyle and me.

Mark made the comment, "When does this get any easier?"

To which Lyle replied, "It doesn’t. You just get to where you handle it better."

I always thought that was a very profound statement that can be applied to a lot more than just exercise.

Like Lyle’s advice, remembering Christ helps us to grow stronger through our trials. For example, when I reflect on moments in my life where challenges seemed insurmountable, I see how the Savior’s teachings and presence provided clarity and resilience. These trials were not just moments of hardship but opportunities for growth, like the refiner’s fire mentioned in scripture. By remembering Christ, we are reminded of His promises and are better able to endure with faith and strength. 

In Sunday School, we often discuss the importance of challenges in our lives, and how the challenges we face help us to grow strong.

The scriptures are full of examples of this: burning off the dross, sifting wheat from the chaff, the refiner’s fire, burning out the impurities. The people in the time of Christ were a hands-on people who worked in agriculture and metal trades, among others, so it is no wonder that the stories He told related to these topics often, so they were relatable to the people.

In Matthew 11:29-30, Christ says, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Alma spoke about the Lord lightening the burdens of the people when they were in bondage to the Lamanites. In Mosiah 24:13-15, we read:

"And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage. And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions."

The Lord didn’t immediately remove the people from bondage, as He did not inspire the parole board to remove me from bondage, but He strengthened them to bear their burdens with ease. I feel like He strengthened me as I studied and prayed, taught, and volunteered, so that I was able to handle my time in bondage.

Eventually, He delivered them entirely, showing His power and faithfulness. This teaches us that while we may face trials, the Lord can lighten our load and help us endure, even before complete deliverance comes.

Conclusion: Remembering Christ Daily

Remembering Christ in all that we do doesn’t mean our lives will be free of struggles. But it does mean that we will face those challenges with purpose, faith, and the assurance of His love and grace. As we take on the heaviest burdens we can carry, we will find strength, meaning, and growth. We will draw closer to Him, and in so doing, we will become more like Him.

I leave this with you in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

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Preparing for Conference

As conference approaches, we are encouraged to prepare to hear the messages of the Lord, and some might ask, ‘How do I do that?’

One day last year my daughter, Nora, saw me snap my fingers at the dog. This is my signal to Atticus to move out of my way, whether it’s from my spot on the couch, my spot on the bed, or just standing in my path as I walk.

Later she came to me and asked how to do it, so I showed her the basics of pushing her thumb and middle finger together, letting the middle finger slip from her thumb and slap against the meat of the palm. She spent several weeks practicing, reporting her progress to me, until she could easily snap her fingers with an audible click.

A couple weeks ago she heard someone on a TV show whistle, and she has been practicing this as well. She purses up her lips and breathes rapidly, and can often produce a whistle in both directions, like this: <whistle>. I love seeing her successes as she builds her confidence.

We got them little bikes with no pedals when they were two or three, and they love riding them all over. This practice has prepared their balance so when we got them pedal bikes, it wasn’t long before Nora was ready to try with the training wheels off. We got them new bikes for Christmas and she didn’t want to have anything to do with the training wheels from day one.

They practice coloring, painting, counting, riding their bikes, singing, and many other skills.

I think this simple example that Nora and Clara provide is an excellent way to prepare for conference: Practice.

We practice hearing the messages of the Lord by listening so we easily recognize those things. Listen to talks from the last General Conference. Listen to devotionals. Listen to the choir and uplifting music. Listen to or read the scriptures. Listen to older talks that may have been before your time, or when you were younger. Practice recognizing the theme of the talk, and practice applying the message to your life.

The truths that were spoken by President Hinkley, President Kimball, or Elder McConkie, are just as true today as they were in the 1980’s, 1970’s, and older.

We can also turn off other media that doesn’t invite the spirit. News, politics, social media. Each of these things is not necessarily bad, but is often a mix of positive and negative, and in the case of news and politics, rarely contains uplifting messages.

As Don Henley pointed out in the 1982 song, “Dirty Laundry”:

...The bubble-headed bleached blonde comes on at five
she can tell you ‘bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye.
It’s interesting when people die
Give us dirty laundry.

And:
We can do “the innuendo”, we can dance and sing
When it’s said and done we haven’t told you a thing
We all know that crap is king
Give us dirty laundry!

Taking a media fast and focusing on spiritual and uplifting content leading up to conference will help to cleanse our minds of the often negative messages and influences so we can better focus on hearing the spirit.

President and Sister Nelson have given the youth a challenge of taking a seven day social media fast.

Quote: 'President Nelson shared the story of a young man who had to give up his smartphone for a bit. At first, he panicked. (Can you relate?) But then, he was grateful. He felt “free for the first time in a long time” and loved being “free from the fake life that social media creates” and had much more time and energy to be outside, serve others, listen in church, and prepare for his mission. And he was so much happier.'

Social media can certainly be a wonderful tool to connect with others and share goodness, but if you’re paying more attention to your Instagram feed or favorite YouTube videos than to the Spirit, it’s a problem.

“[The] downside of social media is that it creates a false reality,” President Nelson said. “Everyone posts their most fun, adventurous, and exciting pictures, which create the erroneous impression that everyone except you is leading a fun, adventurous, and exciting life. Much of what appears in your various social media feeds is distorted, if not fake.”

End Quote

Author Sheridan Voysey, in his article, Four Reasons to Try a Social Media Fast, talks about the benefits he received doing a month-long social media fast. He found he had more energy, less distraction, more focus, more peace, more contentment, and taken back precious time. His attention and memory increase. he has less annoyance and disappointment.

As with all things in life, social media should be taken in moderation.

While I was in college, I needed an easy class to fill a credit requirement. I looked through the catalog and picked one called, “Learning to Learn”. This was probably the most useful class that I took in college. I sure don’t remember any calculus. I’m not an accountant, and I’m not critiquing Jazz festivals. But the lessons I learned in this class have helped me in many other things in life.

One of the most important principles is, if you want to learn, you have to pay attention. I know, easier said than done, but paying attention comes from one major component: Interest.

If we are interested in the subject, we are more likely to pay attention.

Think about your favorite subject. This could be baseball, cars, Pokemon, animals, Egyptian archaeology, whatever. You know about this subject because it interests you. You know about this subject because when you read about it, or watch a YouTube video or lecture about it, your interest keeps your attention.

The same way, when we aren’t interested in a subject, we have a harder time paying attention.

One way we can increase our interest in conference is to have some questions that we would like answered. These answers may be something you hear directly, or they may be a prompting during a particularly spiritual talk. Listening for answers to questions helps to focus your mind so you are able to pay attention.

Other ways to pay attention is to play Conference Bingo. LDSBookstore.com has free conference packets that include four bingo cards, or there are numerous ones online that can be downloaded and printed. Listening carefully for the words, concepts, or phrases on your bingo card are a great way to pay attention.

We also find it easier to be interested and pay attention when we remove distractions. Get household chores done in the days or hours before so you can focus on the listening. Don’t play Candy Crush or other mobile games. Use your phone for notes, or sending “Wow, did you hear that?!” to family when a great message strikes home.

Being well rested so we aren’t dozing off during conference is also important. Go to bed at a reasonable hour and eat a healthy breakfast that will give you the energy to last all the way through.

Another way we prepare in our family is by having tradition. Contrary to my last point of eating a healthy breakfast, Saturday we have snacks. There is a bowl of M&Ms and a bowl of Skittles, mandarin oranges, trail mix, etc.

Sunday, Stephanie makes German Pancakes for breakfast. So like Christmas, General Conference is a family holiday, and this brings us into the spirit of conference and helps to put us in that frame of mind.

So as General Conference approaches, let us practice hearing the messages of the Lord, just as Nora practices her finger snaps, her whistles, and her artwork, and Clara practices her singing, dancing, and her own art.

Let us have reason to pay attention, and let us make these things a tradition to pass on, and I say these things in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,

Amen.

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